Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Letter To Lupus And Rheumatoid Arthritis

Dear Lupus and RA,

I just want you to know that you are really driving me crazy right now.

RA, it gets 20 degrees cooler and you’re on my butt like the cold weather is my fault. Actually, it has nothing to do with my butt, but my stiff, aching joints, especially my knees and thumbs, are wishing you would go away. If 60 degrees is any indication of your renewed power, I can’t wait for winter to come…

And Lupus, what can I say to you? You’ve decided it was time for the fatigue to kick in again. Fabulous. Just great. You pick the best times.

And together, the two of you, who I am sure are working in tandem against me, destroyed a perfectly good, much needed night of sleep. First, I couldn’t sleep on my right side, because that pain was back, as well. Then came the ever-enjoyable anxiety attack that you give me from time to time – my stomach starts to hurt, my heart starts to race, it’s hard to catch my breath – because you make me think about the future.

Is this the way my life is always going to be? Is it ever going get better?

Are the new, weird symptoms I’ve been having lately something to be worried about, or just another part of your twisted mind and body games?

And where the heck are hydroxychloroquine, cellcept, and the meager remains of prednisone? I didn’t think I was on this stuff for nothing. But lupus and RA, you have succeeded in diminishing their effectiveness.

I hope you’re happy, because I for one, am not!

Leslie

2 comments:

  1. It took a while to get my medications at the right levels. I know its hard but try to be patient. One thing that helped me sleep was to stay in the recliner all night. I have an oversized lazy-boy recliner and that is the only place I can stay comfortable when my joints hurt. It helps to have a "squishy" pillow to put under your neck. :)

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  2. You know, my couch is the most comfortable place for me. But I feel like such a lazy bum when that becomes my place to relax and to sleep. I feel like I never move from it. But I guess the only one that, that matters to is me!

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